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The Ups and Downs of Reinventing Your Life At 43 With Kids

Hey everybody! Please take pleasure in this nice visitor publish from Joe and Kristin DiSanto. That is all about how they made the drastic resolution to alter their life and strive one thing new – they went from chasing success to in search of success. I do know that many individuals have felt “caught” at instances, and this generally is a nice learn to assist push you out of your field.

So…Hi there! 

We’re Joe and Kristin DiSanto, a former government producer/enterprise proprietor and a former movie/business editor from Los Angeles. Since assembly and marrying in Los Angeles, we spent a few years and grueling hours climbing to success within the promoting, movie and tv industries.

We went from usually working totally free, to constructing a publish manufacturing firm with our greatest associates that introduced in hundreds of thousands of {dollars}, received Emmys, and fulfilled our lofty profession targets.

AND THEN WE KISSED IT ALL GOODBYE to begin a brand new life. 

At the ages of 38 (Kristin) and 43 (Joe), we left our nerve-racking large metropolis careers and relocated to an enthralling Florida seashore city the place we knew nobody, however had the liberty to boost our 3-year-old son full-time—and redefine our “dream life.”

We traded in time spent on work, for time spent collectively as a household. 

Kristin is now in a position to be a full-time mother and part-time blogger. Joe is a part-time bookkeeper and small enterprise marketing consultant and part-time blogger.

Irrespective of how a lot you’re keen on your job (we truly did love our careers), it simply depletes your time, creativity and vitality. So once you get residence to your supposed “life”…you may have little left to present.

We needed to take again that life drive, and try and hit the reset button. 

How did we handle to tug this profession shift off?

Properly…rather a lot of monetary planning, some good investments (largely actual property), and a wholesome worry of life passing by earlier than we truly received an opportunity to dwell it. However even with most of our monetary geese in a row, NONE of this profession shifting was straightforward.

We had a complete breakdown in Austin, Texas (our first cease on the journey), and made a bunch of errors alongside the best way that value us emotionally and financially. As an example…I do not know…saaayyy…shifting midway throughout the nation with a toddler, twice in three months!

So, we’re going to relay our story to you in hopes you could comply with your individual wishes to alter your life and enterprise into the unknown…with some beneficial data beneath your belt. At the tip, we’ll provide you with a clear “earlier than and after” breakdown of our funds so you possibly can see how we have been in a position to accomplish our life adjustments. And we’ll provide you with recommendations on how to economize throughout a giant transfer.

Okay, right here’s our story.


Assembly and Making it in La La Land

As a pair, we made a pact way back to strive and preserve our lives fascinating. When issues have been getting stale, we should always push ourselves out of our consolation zones, and go greater.

If life is a recreation, we needed to win, and have as a lot enjoyable as doable doing it. We lived very totally different lives in our youth, however by some means ended up with an identical shared want to succeed, and we have been capable of finding one another and tackle the problem collectively.

Joe grew up in Windfall, Rhode Island, the place he spent his youth driving bmx bikes, breakdancing and graffiti tagging “Smash” round city. Kristin is a former musical theatre nerd turned movie nerd. She grew up taking faucet lessons, attending Broadway reveals and singing at church in Grand Rapids, MI. Destiny introduced our two unusually divergent paths collectively at a Venice, CA music video post-production home, the place we fell in love and got down to obtain our goals within the leisure business in August of 2002. 

By 2004, Joe purchased his first residence, and we moved into it collectively! Fortunately by just a few years later, with the assistance of that home and just a few diagonal strikes on the work entrance, he managed to get himself absolutely out of pupil mortgage and bank card debt ($75,000). Kristin was steadily climbing the ranks of business modifying alongside the best way as properly, and was lastly beginning to catch some breaks. In late 2005, Joe and his companions broke off and began their very own firm, which Kristin quickly joined.

From 2006 to 2018, we managed to constructed a multi-million greenback publish manufacturing firm with our greatest associates, helped create and edit critically acclaimed movies, commercials, and an Emmy successful TV present, received married on a mountaintop in Santa Barbara, purchased Eight funding properties and our beachside dream residence, and then, in 2018, left all that achievement behind.


Two primary causes: inertia, and the delivery of our son. 


First, Let’s speak about inertia. We had made that promise to one another to maintain our lives thrilling, and with out realizing it, our life had developed, let’s assume, a cage-like predictability. We got here to seek advice from this phenomenon as “The Golden Hamster Wheel.”

We seemingly had all of it discovered. We had a profitable enterprise, we have been dwelling in a “nice home” in a  “nice neighborhood” with “nice colleges” (exhausting to come back by in LA). Our commute to the brand new workplace, that Joe had not too long ago accomplished development on, was solely 15 minutes away (that brief commute was a MAJOR life bonus for anybody dwelling in LA). And we labored on cool initiatives on a regular basis with our associates. 

We knew that all of it SHOULD have made us fully fulfilled (and it did for a protracted whereas), however the reality was…it wasn’t doing it anymore. (It was truly actually annoying that it wasn’t. Issues would have been a lot simpler if it was..haha!)

We felt like one thing was lacking.

In some way we couldn’t see then that we have been working, like scared little hamsters, on that large ol’ shiny wheel we had so painstakingly constructed. 

After which it occurred…


Was the Lacking Piece Our Progeny? (haha)

In 2015, we have been overjoyed by the delivery of our son. We anticipated it to be a troublesome transition as we turned new mother and father and then went again to work. However we figured after the primary 12 months it might be a lot simpler.

We have been unsuitable. 


Not solely did life not get again to regular, it received worse. Sustaining our way of life turned way more difficult. We rushed to the workplace, leaving our son with a nanny all day (thank God she was the most effective human we might have ever employed).

Work had began to change into extra and extra like a J-O-B, and much less and much less like our ardour. One of us floored it again residence to see our son simply earlier than mattress. 

We ordered our over-priced natural groceries on-line as a result of we didn’t have time to go to the shop. We had a housekeeper as a result of we didn’t have time to wash or do laundry. We drove costly automobiles, wore fashionable garments (okay, that was simply Kristin), at all times had hair and nails achieved (Kristin, once more), as a result of we “wanted” to challenge a sure picture in our line of work. 

We took our son to museums and eating places and play dates on the weekend, tried to take care of our LA social life, didn’t train, tried to rejuvenate our romance often, and at evening we fell asleep simply freaking exhausted—and then it began yet again the following day. 

We felt like we have been simply going by means of the motions, and now not actively taking part in the sport. And admittedly, we began to get sick of listening to ourselves complain. Our Golden Hamster Wheel was revealed to us in all it’s tedious glory. 

We needed to lastly admit that we have been principally working and shopping for our means by means of life—and paying for it in additional methods than one. It’s astounding how one can work so exhausting to realize a really particularly wanted life…and have it in the end depart you feeling unhappy. 

Over time earlier than having a child, we had begun to marvel if our ardour and drive would ultimately put on out—that the lengthy hours would suck all of the vitality and creativity out of us. We’d casually talked about how “sometime, perhaps we’d simply stop our jobs and strive one thing new,” however it was at all times a “sometime” that was far off sooner or later.

And moreover, why would we do this?!

We have been dwelling our DREAM LIFE, proper? 


The Catalyst for Our Cross Nation Transfer

The delivery of our son abruptly made clear that “sometime” had most undoubtedly arrived. 

In the course of the first two years of our son’s life, we hatched a plan to take a one 12 months hiatus from work (how we’d technically accomplish this was unclear, however most nice issues begin as a dream!:). We got here up with the thought to maneuver shut to at least one of our rental properties in Austin, TX, renovate it, then transfer into it, and then resolve on the finish of that 12 months if we needed to come back again to our previous life. 

Initially, this was a better tablet to swallow than simply leaving all the pieces behind…FOREVER! But it surely didn’t take lengthy for us to see that the probability of with the ability to come again (or eager to) after leaving our careers and promoting our residence, was minuscule. 

We determined we must depart indefinitely, and divest ourselves from the corporate and our jobs. It took about six months to activate our plan. It was a serious endeavor of paperwork and awkward chats with surprised associates and colleagues (“Wait, so what are you doing? And why are you doing this?”), however it all got here to fruition the morning we lastly received on that airplane and watched Los Angeles, and everybody we cherished, fade into the space.

It felt like life was simply starting for us once more.


(that really sounds form of candy once you put it like that, however spoiler alert, we weren’t feeling the nice and cozy glow of freedom, sunshine and a brand new life…we have been kinda freaking the @#$% out).


Hi there Austin, TX! (or “Pricey God, What Have We Accomplished?”)

Because it seems, the burbs of Austin was very temporary cease for us—as in solely eighty-eight days! It wasn’t precisely the start we’d imagined. 


We wish to assume of it now as our “purgatory”, the place we have been sequestered whereas we detoxed from our achievement oriented lives in LA. For the primary time, we have been one-on-one with our son full-time, and we had no official jobs to tug us away.


We did have the renovation of our rental home, which we have been dwelling just some minutes away from, however aside from that, there was nowhere to cover from our fears. 

It wasn’t lengthy earlier than the preliminary elation of leaving our careers was sheer panic.

“Are we COMPLETE IDIOTS??? What have we achieved???

Did we actually stop our superb jobs to dwell in a city so scorching it actually seems like you might be burning in hell!? And the way can a spot probably have as many god-forsaken strip malls as they’ve blood-sucking mosquitos!?!” 

And of course there was the fixed moaning about “having no associates.”

Suffice it to say, there was rather a lot of crying after our transfer, and pointless daydreaming about how we might negotiate our means again into our previous, protected lives.

What. Had. We. DONE. 

Past our personal private fears, we additionally had our Three 12 months previous son who was discovering the change to be very troublesome as properly. After we examine folks dwelling in RVs with young children it at all times amazes us. Our son doesn’t do properly with CHANGE because it have been.  Simply getting used to a brand new room took him some time, nevermind abandoning his greatest buddy and nanny, and then being launched to preschool for the primary time. 

It was actually exhausting on him, and we felt fairly dangerous about it. (Little did he know he could be shifting into two extra new rooms within the subsequent 9 months earlier than he was lastly settled). Although admittedly, I believe he was blissful to go away Austin for Florida too..haha!

Okaaay, so sounds fairly nice to this point, proper!? Prepared for your personal large transfer now? Ha ha! We’ll it’s time to show this unhappy story round. No, we didn’t run again to LA with our tails between our legs. Fortunately, after spending means an excessive amount of time feeling misplaced in a bottomless pit of anxiousness, we have been nonetheless sane sufficient to know that we HAD TO DO SOMETHING to assist get us by means of our physiological turmoil. 


Climbing Our Approach Out of Despair

Whenever you really feel such as you’ve misplaced all the pieces that when outlined “you,” it may be a superb place to begin to reevaluate who you actually are with out all of the labels.

So, we tried to dig deep.

We began looking for…dun dun dun: “that means.” Principally, we started voraciously studying books about “discovering pleasure” and “life’s objective.” We researched and began meditating. We downloaded programs on “gratitude.” We watched documentaries about happiness. We drank rather a lot of low cost Lonestar beer (not precisely digging deep however, hey, we’re human).

And you understand what? It helped!

It began to make a major distinction. At instances, we might truly peer by means of the thick fog of worry and see all that we had gained—as an alternative of occupied with the “conveniences” and “comforts” we had given up. We started to extra clearly see behind the scenes.


Rental Property Rehab

Whereas our son was at preschool every morning, we went over to the rental home and scraped, painted, dug and scrubbed. We determined that, amongst different duties, we have been going to tackle portray your complete inside of the home.

It’s doable we have been romanticizing what this is able to truly entail, however let’s simply say, we discovered that portray a WHOLE home (from new drywall) is fairly powerful and time consuming for a do-it-yourselfer. It’s NOT a “meditative method.” Maybe we (Kristin) learn Eat Pray Love just a few too many instances. Because it turned out, portray your complete inside of a home was a frickin’ tedious endeavor.


We’d begin out every morning very detailed and cautious every morning, however after just a few hours of portray we have been spent, and we’d simply find yourself slopping it on and pondering, “Yep, good job.” Portray isn’t rocket science, and virtually anybody can do it, however it does take a look at one’s interior (and outer) power. It made us notice that we’d taken without any consideration all of the painters who do skilled work and stick with it hour after hour every day. (Sending out MAJOR excessive fives to all home painters in every single place.)

Unusually, although, the extra days we labored, the extra satisfaction we found in our small triumphs—like figuring out and eradicating an invasion of poison ivy with out contracting a rash…or studying use a paint gun like a ninja (paint rolling is for suckas). We had puffy swollen eyes, paint in our hair and fingertips so ripped up they have been peeling off in chunks (rattling you metal wool!), however we have been gaining a lot extra. 



Alright…don’t throw up once you hear this, however each morning at breakfast we every took turns writing down one thing we have been grateful for so as to add to the “grateful jar.” (This was impressed by a Gratitude course we’d downloaded from the Perception Timer App. We swear it is going to change your life!)

We might actually see the outcomes of all of our efforts stacking up within the glass jar.

Feeling gratitude for issues like “The means our pepperoni pizza reheated so properly within the oven” and “lightbulbs, as a result of they make all the pieces shiny,” really made us happier. 

In the end we needed to reluctantly admit, we couldn’t have picked a greater place for our detox interval.  If we had moved to paradise with seashores and margaritas, it simply would have distracted us from the work we wanted to do to be able to let go of our previous lives.

We needed to be taught to relinquish the tight management we had maintained over each facet of our existence, and simply trip the wave you’ve received. (however to be clear we don’t surf. I believe I received that from Pete The Cat).


Goodbye Texas, Hi there…NEW US? 

As a lot as we felt reluctantly rewarded (wait did I say reluctantly once more?) by the metamorphosis of our Austin rental, and really gained from the expertise, we couldn’t wait to GTF out. Ha! We slapped a “on the market” enroll on our Texas home and fortunately offered it for asking worth. 

Then, simply three months after having packed all our belongings right into a shifting truck, we made a second main life resolution to pack up and transfer our household, AGAIN. Not an thrilling proposition at that time, however we noticed it as the one means ahead.

The place did we go?  Properly that is a really trendy story involving the web.  We did not know the place to go. If you find yourself not pushed to a spot by both household or work, it’s truly surprisingly exhausting to “know the place to go.” We knew we missed being close to water and that we needed a city with an enthralling primary road.

Sooo…we googled “fairly priced seaside cities with charming primary streets”. 


Anyway, we made an inventory of six cities that seemed actually good within the photos, and appeared to verify off some or all of our containers.

  • Moderately priced properties
  • Affordable to low property tax
  • Hopefully no revenue tax
  • Walkable
  • Respectable colleges, and so on and so on.

It’s exhausting to get all these items in a single city! 

Then we mentioned to ourselves, properly we have to go go to these locations. Drawback was that we solely had about 1.5months left on our Airbnb, and we nonetheless had a renovation to finish earlier than that date arrived. So, we picked the city that appeared probably the most promising, and went for five days…Dunedin FL.

It’s exhausting to resolve if you wish to transfer someplace in just a few days, however we have been NOT staying in Austin…and we did not have time to go to anyplace else on the listing, so we have been like, “Right here we come Dunedin! (PLEASE PLEASE be a pleasant place to dwell, Dunedin!!!!).”

Properly, thankfully, Dunedin turned out to be an exquisite place to dwell. We truly actually love dwelling right here…THANK GOD. And this time round, we discovered a less expensive solution to transfer, which concerned a smaller truck, much less stuff and Joe driving it alone for 2 days (extra on that within the numbers). Inside a short while of being right here, we additionally discovered a house we needed to put money into and renovate! 

After one other “enjoyable” 8-month renovation, we moved into our “new previous” 1942 craftsman residence (virtually on our 1 12 months anniversary of leaving LA). It’s positioned only a brief stroll from the gulf, and even at that, our prices are considerably lower than in LA. We each earn a living from home, have one automotive, clear our personal home, and spend most of our time with our son and some nice new associates.

We’re extra free to train (virtually) each day, stroll to eating places for dinner (I do know, simply breathe right into a paper bag FI/RE associates), and go to our households greater than we ever have earlier than. 


We will’t say that it’s been straightforward to make this transition.

In reality, it was the toughest, craziest factor we’ve ever achieved, and our egos usually put up a helluva struggle.

However over a 12 months after extracting ourselves from our former life, and with loads of time for reflection on what we actually need on this subsequent chapter (which we seek advice from it as our “Scenic Route”), we all know that we made the appropriate resolution for our household. 


What Have We Realized?

First, we discovered that quitting our jobs and shifting to a different state with a younger baby was “a giant deal.” We each moved to LA once we have been in our 20’s, from states distant, and it didn’t appear exhausting to both of us on the time. So I don’t assume we might have ever guessed the affect it might have on us. Additionally after dwelling in a spot for therefore lengthy, it turns into half of your identification, and that’s exhausting to unwind.

In so some ways, we misplaced our household’s security web. BUT, once you let go of all the pieces and everybody you’ve been gathering round you for years to create your life, you’ll discover that you just DO ultimately settle in. Whenever you do, you start to really feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. Perhaps it’s this freedom that permits you to evolve quicker right into a more true model of your self.

Now we’re not so involved with “successful” the sport, however are extra considering having the flexibleness to regulate as we go. We need to be (as) financially impartial (as doable), journey extra, and probably transfer overseas when our son is a bit older. 

Additionally, we’ve discovered to focus extra on intrinsic targets—like dwelling every day with gratitude—as an alternative of extrinsic targets—like in search of recognition. (Though with the ability to dwell every day with gratitude deserves some form of award, proper?!?!) We have now to maintain engaged on this consistently! We undoubtedly haven’t mastered this new means of viewing life but.

Lastly, we discovered that we will transfer away and survive, make new associates, and have superb adventures. After we first left LA, we weren’t assured about our resolution, and had rather a lot of worry that we’d simply need to return to the best way issues have been. However now that we’re blissful and doing properly, we’re much more assured that we might strive one thing crazier, like shifting to a international nation. However for proper now, we’re staying put!!!


The Monetary Particulars….


Our previous Los Angeles month-to-month bills vs our new Florida month-to-month bills

So shifting has basically decreased our month-to-month bills by about 60%. Most each space of our life is cheaper right here, however not all by 60%. The largest reductions in spending are our housing cost and baby care prices. Plus we even have tried to tighten our spending a bit.

We additionally need to level out that the numbers listed below are precise expenditures, not a price range. For LA we used a mean of Jan-Nov 2017, and for FL we used a mean of Jan-Nov 2019. We did not use 2018 as a result of we moved 3 times and lived in LA, Austin and FL. It was not a constant comparability.

Baby care prices are means much less as a result of we went from a full-time nanny to a full-time mother with some preschool. We might have ultimately switched to high school in LA, however not as quickly. With Kristin working full-time, we’d not have been ready to try this till kindergarten, and then nonetheless would have wanted after faculty care. It’s additionally possible that our Waldorf faculty right here, would value 2x extra in LA.

The different main discount is the fee of our residence. With the sale of our LA residence and another actual property, we’re in a position to personal our home outright right here, so the out-of-pocket expense is barely taxes and insurance coverage. It’s true that taxes right here, on a share foundation are greater, however home costs are considerably decrease. There’s additionally no state revenue tax in FL. Insurance coverage is a bit greater right here as a result of hurricane protection is necessary and you really want flood insurance coverage as properly. In LA earthquake was not necessary, however we had it…which tripled our annual insurance coverage premiums.

Check out the complete expense comparability under!


Different adjustments we now have made to economize

Whereas we’re very diligent about monitoring our spending, we’ll be the primary to confess, we’re not probably the most frugal folks. We (fortunately) made sufficient cash in LA to prioritize comfort over excessive frugality (which can value you a large number).

We frequently did not have an excessive amount of alternative nevertheless, with our demanding work schedules. Plus, once we had free time we did not at all times really feel like using “frugal restraint!”

However now that we live much less hectic and extreme lives, listed below are some large and small adjustments we now have made which are saving us cash. 

  • We get groceries at Walmart as an alternative of Entire Meals. Purchasing at Entire Meals is like shopping for higher-end model clothes. You merely pay extra for a lot of the identical stuff since you like “the model” of Entire Meals and the purchasing expertise. Walmart has almost each natural merchandise we would like and it’s all cheaper. There’s the ethical dilemma of Walmart having low paid staff and utilizing a deplorable quantity of plastic luggage (amongst different issues I’m positive), however it’s undoubtedly cheaper.
  • We don’t have a housekeeper anymore. Admittedly, we REALLY LIKED having a housekeeper. A beautiful girl named Silvia got here as soon as per week and not solely cleaned the home however did the laundry! Sadly, it value us over $500 month. Now we clear our home and do our personal laundry! (I do know, boo hoo for you guys. hahaha). However once more, we did not have the time earlier than with our work schedules…or so we felt.
  • We solely have one automotive. That is doable as a result of Joe works from residence now and Kristin is generally with our son, or running a blog whereas he’s in school (three half-days per week). After we find yourself within the uncommon automotive bind, one of us simply Ubers. With the invention of trip companies, many individuals might go down to at least one automotive, and lower your expenses.
  • Different smaller methods we’re saving a bit embody shopping for much less new clothes, ditching common cable, switching to a less expensive cell phone plan, shopping for much less toys and just a few different trimmings.


How a lot we spent shifting every time, and how we discovered to do it extra effectively

So, as a result of we moved twice in 2018, first from LA to Austin, and second from Austin to Dunedin (near the identical distance), we gained some expertise in shifting! The value for every leg of the transfer was very totally different as a result of we did it the extra frugal (right) means the second time.

  • Los Angeles to Austin: Complete Value was $12,935
  • Austin to Dunedin: Complete Value was $4,267

As you possibly can see there’s a enormous distinction right here. And for readability, the above numbers included all prices concerned…the movers, vehicles, flights, rental automobiles, containers, tape, all the pieces associated to the transfer.

With the primary transfer we used a full service firm. They arrive to your own home, put your stuff of their truck, drive to your vacation spot and unload. We additionally paid them to pack “breakable” gadgets like glassware and such. Then all three of us flew to Austin collectively. 

On the second leg, we rented a 26’ truck, and employed native guys to assist pack and unload the truck on both sides. Joe drove the truck for 2 days by himself, whereas Kristin and Luca hung in Austin for 2 additional days, and then flew to fulfill Joe in Tampa (Dunedin is a coastal suburb of Tampa).

In each instances we shipped our automotive, and the fee was inside just a few hundred {dollars} ($1295 & $1150), as a result of the space was comparable. We thought of towing the automotive on the second journey, however since Joe was driving alone, he thought it might have been powerful to drive and navigate tight spots. We additionally needed to get rental automobiles in each instances whereas we waited for the automotive to reach.


How we’re creating wealth because the transfer

To be sincere, we weren’t 100% clear on how we’d be making an revenue at first.

We had sufficient financial savings that we have been snug form of winging it for a 12 months and figuring it out. Half of the thought with going to Austin was that there was a marketplace for our work expertise there, if wanted, notably within the promoting recreation. However we have been additionally hoping to present this entire “running a blog factor” an opportunity. 

Surprisingly, when Joe initially mentioned his departure along with his companions, they have been considering having him proceed to do monetary administration from afar, for a month-to-month consulting charge. This was welcome information and one thing he was greater than excited to maintain doing. Then after leaving, different associates (who owned comparable corporations) requested if he could be considering doing comparable work for them. Now Joe has 5 enterprise and 2 particular person purchasers on this capability.

Past that we do have a handful of rental properties which produce some money stream. It’s been a crap shoot yearly on how a lot money that’s, however it gives a bit. Our actual property has largely been a winner by means of growth, appreciation and amortization. Moreover, we now have realized some income from actual property this previous 12 months promoting current properties, just like the one in Austin and one other in Kansas Metropolis.

There’s additionally the truth that the fairness in our remaining actual property and the cash in our retirement accounts is rising. So we determine if we’re solely breaking even on our life on the whole, for some time, then we needs to be okay in the long term. Time will inform of course.

Lastly, whereas running a blog (or what I favor to name the “enterprise of schooling by people”) appears to have nice revenue prospects, it additionally appears to be a reasonably critical lengthy recreation. Being we’re in our (very) early 40’s, have a toddler and a part-time day job, we simply can’t put a ton of hours to it each week (or perhaps we simply aren’t devoted sufficient..haha). Writing lengthy and knowledgeable classes takes time, and we’re not in a position to work 70-80 hours per week proper now. However we’re having fun with it and we expect, in time, it is going to undoubtedly produce some extra revenue. Listed below are some of my articles to take a look at.

Properly, that’s all she (and he) wrote for now. If you’re pondering of doing one thing comparable and need to speak about it, be happy to electronic mail us: and

Till Then…

Work Good & Play Loud

Joe and Kristin

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